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"Moving Out Moving On" when a relationship goes wrongWhen a Divorce is Unexpected?Sometimes there are no warning signs or notice given to prepare for the fatefull day when youvare told "I don't live you anymore." Your first reaction may be devastation. You thought you had it all. Why, and when, did this happen? Unfortunately, after the shock waers off, you end up being controlled by your emotions. This can be very dangerous. You must get ahold of yourself no matter what you are feeling. Some steps to follow: * Consult a lawyer immeduately (consultation for the first 1/2 to and hour is usually ree). *Bring with you to the lawyer a list of prepared questions to ask. *Try not to spend that free consultation time crying or talking about your marriage. A lawyer is not there to be your therapist. Stick to the facts. You are there to interview and possibly hire that person. *Make certain that there practice of law is manily devoted to divorce, family law and child custody. *Copy all documents including wills, car titles, etc., and anything you find on the computer. *If you have a video camera or camera, take two pictures of everything, including appliances, cars, artwork, jewerly, furniture, etc. *Whatever you do, do not move out of your home until you consult a lawyer. *If you have never had a credit card in your name, start applying now to establish a credit history of your own. *Try and remain as calm as possible when you tell the children. Do not speak negatively of,or badmouth the other parent. *Do nt use your children as a confident. Do not involve your children in any decisionmaking process or divorce preparation. *Try to keep the kid's regularly scheduled activities and routines as normal as possible. Remember-Ending a Relationship is not an easy road to travel. It is survivable if you are willing to do the wrok necessary to move on with your life. You will make it. For more information please visit www.movingoutmovingon.com By Susan Murphy-Milano Author of "Moving Out Moving On" when a relationshio goes wrong; and "defedning Our Lives" getting away from domestic violence and staying safe.
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